Stupid is as Stupid does

Or, My Big Fat Stupid Expensive Weekend

So my son's birthday was this weekend. To celebrate and spend some time together we decided to play a round of 3-par golf. The day was perfectly beautiful not too hot, not too sunny, not to breezy. The course was not crowded (it was Friday). Just perfect. We haven't played all summer so by the last hole we were a little tired, a lot hungry and ready to be finished hacking up the course. We walked to the car and drew a sigh of relief. Then I reached into the bag for my keys.

"No keys," I remarked. Mind you I did not scream, but no one reacted. "Really, no keys," I said with a bit more emphasis. They still didn't seem to get it. "The keys are gone," I tried to be clearer.

It gets worse from here. Not only have I lost a small key somewhere in acres of grass, I don't have another set. The "spare" set was lost some time ago and never replaced. Oh I tried once to get a copy, but car keys are programmed. The copy I had made will only open the door, not start the engine. I just never bothered going to the dealer to get a real set.

We walked the course--3 times. We asked everyone who played after us if they found some keys. Of course they would have had to have played as badly as I did and meandered all over the place to have crossed my path. We checked with the office. We asked the sprinkler guy to drive the course.

We called the dealer. In order to make a new set they needed to have the car. (I still don't know why.) So we called a tow truck. We went to the dealer. Fortunately I have a Ford so the keys cost less than some others. But they were $50 each. Naturally I had 2 made. Then there is the lock fob another $50. Plus towing. Plus our time hanging around. And you know what? When I got home. The golf course called. They found my key. I told you I was stupid.